Good Vibrations

How Do You Know If Your Relationship Energy Is Unhealthy?

By India Leigh

When you think of a successful and healthy relationship, a few words probably come to mind. Compatibility, common interests, chemistry and complementary personality types might be at the top of your list. But just as important as these things may be, the energy flowing between the two people can make or break a relationship. Learn how to tap into your shared energy below, so you can shift it for the better or know when it’s time to let it go.

What Determines the Energy of Your Relationship?

On the energetic plane, there are a handful of factors that determine why you have the relationships you have in your life, as well as why they need to end when they do. Inner healing, karmic cycles and imbalances, soul lessons, ancestral wounds and trauma, as well as soul contracts all show up and come into play.

We are all here to assist each other in moving through all of these things during this lifetime, and the way we move these energies is through our relationships. We serve as mirrors for each other to see what we need to see inside ourselves, and we are constantly transforming, balancing and shifting our individual energies by experiencing all that we do together in a relationship.

That terrible, ugly breakup might have been the greatest gift of your life, setting you free from lifetimes of accepting less than you’re worth. And that mother-in-law who knows exactly how to press your buttons and undermine you? She could be teaching you a necessary soul lesson in empowerment and confidence.

How Do You Know Your Relationship Energy is Imbalanced or Unhealthy?

You have an amazingly accurate and infallible energy reading tool at your disposal at all times to help you know what kind of energy is flowing through your relationship: your own body.

Your body, if you pay close attention, will always let you know when something needs to be addressed and shifted or released. Do an inner scan and notice what your body does when you are in another person’s presence. Do your shoulders get tight? Do you get a head or stomachache? Feel exhausted? Dizzy? Your body is letting you know that something about the energy cocktail between you and this other person sets off an alarm within. Listen to this–don’t ignore it. Show inner curiosity and compassion about what your body is doing, leaning into it fully and responsively–the body is never wrong.

Your thought patterns are also going to let you know the energy of the relationship. If you often find yourself having anxious and worried thoughts about the dynamic, then there’s likely a key soul lesson or inner wound healing opportunity waiting to be discovered. Any recurring negative thought patterns that arise around the other person, including negative self- talk, vague heaviness, unforgiveness, resentment or aggressive, angry thoughts about them, are showing you that there’s something underneath the activity of the protective ego mind that needs safe exploration.

How Can you Balance, Repair and Nurture the Energy of Your Relationship?

“Safe” is a crucial word when it comes to understanding energy in relationships. Your most important job in a relationship is to become a living embodiment of safe, loving, grounded energy–both for yourself and for other people. If your body or thoughts are letting you know that a relationship is unsafe for you emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically, distance and the use of healthy boundaries are undeniably necessary. Seek out support to help you as you move away from dynamics that repeat old trauma patterns, keep you in addictive patterns or open old wounds.

In relationships that are essentially safe, the only way to ensure that the energy of the dynamic remains healthy and in line with growth is to cultivate vulnerability. Most of us have been subconsciously or overly conditioned since childhood to conceal our difficult emotions, fears and pain. But in order to enjoy a higher level of relationship, a higher level of transparency and trust (in yourself most of all) must be present.

The most powerful way to enter into every interaction with another person is to ask within, “What is this showing me about myself?” Since each of us has a unique perception of ourselves and our reality that is all our own, we each serve as both a projection and a reflection of those perceptions and the energies created by our relationships.

When you are living in a way that is energetically aware and conscious, you will find relationships with others are a never-ending, beautiful kaleidoscope that will keep you fascinated (and, yes, occasionally frustrated)–and learning for a lifetime.

Intuitive reader, spiritual teacher, energy healer and certified coach India Leigh empowers others to come into connection with their own co-creative power, aligning their energy, thoughts, words and actions with their soul-centered goals, greatest good and highest purpose. www.indialeigh.com